red rocksI attended the “Celtic Woman” concert in the gorgeous Red Rocks Amphitheater last night. Their music is hauntingly beautiful. I could almost see the sound waves flowing up and around the giant rock formations and pouring across the green hills beyond. Theirs is the kind of music that creates an exquisite ache in my heart. I pondered that as our little group laughed and joked together under the dimming Colorado sky and I sipped wine from a carton that looked like a juicey juice box.

Celtic music seems to carry an ancient voice within its chords. I sometimes envy those who come from old traditions. Sure, old things can become hardened and brittle and lose their usefulness over time. However wisdom is gathered and preserved through time, and when carefully tended  it can mature within us like fine wine. It gives us a baptism of sorts – we are immersed into the wisdom gleaned of the ages and we grow up a bit more into our truest selves.

In comparison to the Celts, our American life is relatively new. Sometimes it seems that we are the adolescents of the world – full of enthusiasm and good intentions and convinced that we know way more than we actually do. We are somewhat disconnected from the world’s wisdom, recollecting mostly what happens within our insulated shores. As we have focused on keeping our way of life, the stories of risk, hope and gratitude collected by this nation of immigrants have become far less often our shaping stories.

The Celtic Woman group sang a song about Ellis Island, the Isle of Hope. And as they did the histories of my own family and friends played upon the stage. There was the hopeful young Englishman full of inventions and ideas and hoping for possibilities, the Armenian teen who narrowly escaped the genocide of the Ottoman Turks, the starving Irishman hoping to find a way to feed his family, the Jews who barely escaped war torn Europe and worse. The Celts were singing our stories back to us. They sang of the America our ancestors saw:

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

Now I know that the land of opportunity can be turned to the land of opportunistic ways, the pursuit of happiness to gluttony, freedom from to an entitled freedom to. We can’t forget that our history contains much darkness as we stepped on and crushed the backs of some to rise higher. We’ve suffered and will continue to feel the consequences of all that. May we grow up good, as my southern friends say, by the grace of God. May life continue to rise from those ashes.

I thought the longing in my heart was for another time or place, and perhaps it was. After all, our deepest longings cannot be met in this place. But the memories stirred that evening brought to remembrance that there exists on earth a government which, for all its imperfections, seeks to keep the checks and balances in place that prevent tyranny,  remains committed to the rule of law,  created a middle class to soften the extremes of privilege and poverty that rules in so many places, and that still believes in freedom and dignity for all human beings. The songs of the Celtic Woman group reflected back our own beauty to me.

In the movie The American President, President Shepherd says, “America isn’t easy. You’ve got to want it bad.” We have ginormous problems to deal with and we are deeply polarized on many issues. And of course, America is not the Kingdom of God. But our gift to the world is the hope that what we all long for could actually be true. Our own sacred texts say yes, you are created for dignity and freedom and human rights and equity – life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Justice for all. Simple things, like gathering for any purpose we want, whether it be political, religious or simply a concert under the stars with friends and good cheap wine.  Standing for these things for all is really hard. Let’s want it really bad.

At the end, the Celtic Woman group sang a love song to America that reflected the wonderful truth that we have won true friends amidst our struggles. That says something good about us too.

Happy Birthday America. I am grateful for you.

O America

O, America you’re calling,
I can hear you calling me:
You are calling me to be true to thee,
True to thee… I will be.

O, America no weeping,
Let me heal your wounded heart:
I will keep you in my keeping,
Till there be… a new start.

And I will answer you, and I will take your hand,
And lead you… to the sun:
And I will stand by you…do all that I can do,
And we will be… as one.

O, America I hear you,
From your prairies to the sea,
From your mountains grand,
and all through this land,
You are beautiful to me.

And… O, America you’re calling,
I can hear you calling me:
You are calling me to be true to thee,
True to thee… I will be.

And I will answer you, and I will take your hand,
And lead you… to the sun:
And I will stand by you… do all that I can do,
And we will be…as one.

Music: William Joseph
Words: Brendan Graham

I could sit and listen to stories forever. It is what I do for a living right now, in fact. Real live stories give me hope that we can really change. Recently, my husband and I sat with our friends Ryan and Amanda and celebrated the birth of their new son, shared a meal, engaged in some healthy debate and enjoyed stories from their time in Northern India. They will return there soon- returning “home” to the people to whom they have given their hearts.

They have both immersed themselves in medical education of various kinds because their experience has taught them that simple practical hands-on help is what is most needed there. Their friends haven’t been taught even the basic understanding of what we would consider common sense care, such as how to cleanse a wound to keep it from becoming infected. Ryan and Amanda have been trained to dress wounds, diagnose ailments, prescribe medications, replenish fluids and other basic things that can only be done by an MD here. The simple things they do are literally life-giving. It gets me to thinking of how very much each one of us here truly has to offer a hurting world.

But even more than all of that, what I see is that their compassion has a beautiful direction. They are ones who seem to have learned the elusive quality of “serving up”, that is, serving the poor as Christ Himself. Often my compassion does not match this. I feel angry at injustice but too often it feels like a demand that we get off our high horse and do more for the “downtrodden”, a word that implies “lesser”.

Ryan told a story of a young mother from the lowest caste. Her baby had at least four different skin ailments, including infections and infestations. The baby was also caked in dirt from head to toe. He felt his anger begin to burn at this child’s suffering and as he taught the mother how to bathe her child in gentian violet to clear up the infection he grumbled, “Here, this is your job”. He glanced at the mother and saw that she also was caked with dirt from head to toe. Those of the lowest caste believe that they are  unworthy, the least of the least, less than dirt. Why bother to live as someone you can never be?

He heard himself yelling at her. “You are worth more than this! You need to get some soap and bathe yourself, and bathe your baby. Brush your teeth. You are designed to be greater than this!” Later, he felt bad for losing his temper. He knew he shouldn’t have yelled at her. His anger was probably fueled in many ways by the ongoing frustration of dealing with a whole societal system that crushes people and the stubborn ignorance that is not easily dissuaded, especially by foreigners.

But a month later she returned to him. She and her baby were clean, teeth brushed, hair gleaming, clothes clean. She smiled broadly. Her baby’s skin was almost fully healed. And the smile, of course, told of a deeper healing. Truth, which at times comes in a way as searing as antiseptic to an open wound, had penetrated and won this woman’s heart. She was worthy.

Philip Yancey says, “We in the West are still learning the difference between acts of charity and the more difficult task of changing a person’s self-perception.” Acts of charity do display compassion. But changing self-perception comes from deep lived-out belief. Ryan probably won’t be packaging his method of dealing with this particular lady for books and seminars. But I think she may have gotten it because he truly believes that she, like those in her village, are Christ in His distressing disguise. He truly sees her that way. That kind of gaze upon another is healing.

I have felt this gaze in my own life. I have a mentor/friend who has had a profound effect on me. His belief in me literally changed the course of my life. I once asked him just how he did it; what magic did he use? It certainly felt extraordinary. “I believe,” was all he said.

Once again I am praying for eyes to see. For me, it is not too difficult to see Christ in a woman like the one in the story. But it is much harder for me to see Christ in those in my own culture, more specifically those whom I think are doing the dance of the Pharisees, because of the hurt they have wrought. Perhaps to grow eyes to see I must learn, as my friends surely have, to have enough faith to not look down, but up. In what new surprising way will my Christ present Himself to me this week?

"Pharisees" by Karl Schmidt-Rottluff 1912

"Pharisees" by Karl Schmidt-Rottluff 1912

fathersonshadowHappy Father’s Day.
From my years as a therapist I am well aware of the deep impact fathers have upon the shaping of human beings. There are many people who struggle with a deep “father wound” which is a wound that has changed and distorted their very personhood. There are just as many stories of fathers who have helped to shape  a powerful and beautiful inner core in their offspring. All that is to say, fathers matter.

I sit in awe at the father-heart revealed in the story of the prodigal son. Though we may find ourselves reflected in either or both of the struggling sons, I think this story is far more about the father. All that he had belonged to his sons: his riches, his reputation, his heart. Forgiveness, reconciliation, and welcome pour forth from him without caveat, without measure, and without regret. It is a picture of God to sit within and drink deeply.

One thing I admire most about so many dads is the quiet sacrifice that is their lives. Men of my father’s generation went to war, came home, worked a job for 40-50 years to care for their families, and did it all so often without complaint because it was simply the right thing to do. It was a generation of chivalry and honor. I can remember my dad flying across a crowded plaza to grab a heavy door for an elderly lady who was struggling with it. His example in paying all that he owed on time, racking up little debt and feeling a quiet pride in his credit rating were my financial lessons. And through it all, he lived his life under the shadow of his own father’s alcoholism which had slowly siphoned him away from the family in the years following the depression.

He worked most of his adult life in marketing for a company that made industrial sewing machines. Though he worked hard and didn’t complain, I don’t believe he would say his job was his passion. It wasn’t till retirement that he had time to delve into what he really loved which was serving as a state representative for 5 consecutive terms, being moderate and wise enough that the opposing party stopped putting up a candidate against him when it came time for re-election. Now as he has reached year 80, he is perfecting his water-color painting skills. It seems that so much of the life of a family man is sacrifice – laying aside one’s own dreams and ambition for the sake of others. There’s no guarantee that time for oneself comes this side of eternity.

Of course there are dads who lose themselves (and ultimately lose their families) because of ambition, narcissism, or the image of success. There are those who struggle with their own demons and pass those on to their children. There are those who walk away. These men may be surprised to know that their children, even as adults, still love and need them on some level and that is a gift. But today I am thinking of the men who have served and who still serve quietly and faithfully, giving of their time and paychecks as best they can so that their families may thrive. They are the men who give attentiveness so that their children may know that their presence on this earth matters and that who they are matters. They are the men who know a bit about justice and making space for the other to be – even the “other” in his own home who could be the child that disappoints or the wife who discovers her voice. The lives of these men may not draw huge notice or adulation, but they are heroes. They teach us about God.

bibliophileBorrowing from an idea from my friend Amy, I thought it would be fun to do occasional posts about the books I am reading. Most of my friends are unapologetic bibliophiles and are always on the lookout for good books as am I. Much of my reading that is not posted here is made up of parts of books or articles– say, for studying about the Trinity or church and culture and stuff. Seeing this list helps me feel like I have some completion in my life! So here’s some of my list for the first half of 2009. I would love to hear what you have been reading and what you recommend.

A heads up though – I have enjoyed all of the books on my list and have learned from them. However, if you read them, some of you may find that they may take you far, far, far from your comfort zone. Please enjoy that, for there is no place you can go where Christ is not, but don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Amy divides hers into months. I am not that organized. And I am sure I have forgotten some, but oh well.

The Great Emergence by Phyllis Tickle
This book really helps put the emerging of the church within a far larger context of church history. She is a funny, bright lady and I want to be her when I grow up.

Leaving Church
The Preaching Life
An Altar in the World by Barbara Brown Taylor
I devoured all of these books. I have vowed to read everything she writes and I am making my way towards that goal. She has a rich, warm, deeply nourishing spirituality.

The Blue Parakeet by Scot McKnight
From Stone to Living Word by Debbie Blue
These two very readable books deal with issues of hermeneutics, not so much in the technical sense but in the broader sense of what affects how we see and how we read.

How (Not) To Speak of God
The Orthodox Heretic by Peter Rollins
He is my new favoritest writer. (For this week anyway!) Rollins, who has advanced degrees in postmodern theory, is amazing. He opens our eyes to how we think (and how that effects us), as well as to the startling but life-changing strangeness of the gospel of Jesus. Prepare to be challenged.

Things Seen and Unseen by Nora Gallagher
Take This Bread by Sara Miles
This year I have begun to really delve into the “memoir” genre and have been so enjoying it. Take This Bread is one book that I will read again and again. A new friend of mine is quite close to the author, and several other friends have visited her church in San Francisco. It is the real thing.

Christianity for the Rest of Us
and
A People’s History of Christianity by Diana Butler Bass.
Another new (not so new) favoritest author. She shows us that there’s far more going on than what the big name players are doing!

Eat, Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
A total pleasure.  Part of my personal journey includes recovering how to make space for true pleasure in my life. I work too hard and find myself slowly burning out. This book, written by a woman with more eastern religious leanings, has given me much wisdom and joyful anticipation for that pursuit. Maybe I have to get outside myself to “get it”.

Fat Jesus: Christianity and Body Image by Lisa Isherwood
A brilliant discourse on Christianity, culture and women’s bodies.

Rapture Ready by Daniel Radosh
A young Jewish man enters the world of fundamentalist and evangelical Christianity and reports his observations. He does so with humor and respect but I do not recommend this for those without a sense of humor or the willingness to see our imperfections.

Finishing up
I can never read one book at a time – I always have some in progress. Piles of books everywhere.
The Fidelity of Betrayal: The Church Beyond Belief by Peter Rollins
Eve’s Bible by Dr. Sarah Forth
Surprised by Hope by NT Wright
Acedia by Kathleen Norris (another all time favorite writer)
There’s A Hole in Our Gospel by Richard Stearns

On deck to read next:
These are sitting on my bookshelves but I reserve the right to change the line up.
Justification by NT Wright
The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
Sensual Orthodoxy by Debbie Blue
Signs of Emergence by Kester Brewin
ReJesus by Frost and Hirsch
The Great Awakening by Jim Wallis
Fasting by Scot McKnight
Sabbath by Dan Allender

To be re-read every year (but I haven’t yet):
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Exclusion and Embrace by Miroslav Volf
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
…and few things by Irvin Yalom

Fiction (I never devote enough time to simply enjoy fiction!)
A Mercy by Toni Morrison
Changing Light by Nora Gallagher
The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb

What do you recommend? Obviously I need help on the fiction end of things. And what are your favorite spiritual memoirs?

I don't know who's tattoo this is but I like it.

I don't know to whom this tattoo belongs, but I like it.

ObamathisisajobforA friend commented recently on the fact that I spoke of Obama in such glowing terms in my post on Obama in Cairo. It just got me thinking about a Monty Python line: “He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy.” In other words, I do not think Obama-Biden-Messiah are all good and Bush-Cheney-Satan and their administration was all bad. (I am joking about the names here – lighten up!) That kind of polarized thinking is rarely helpful to us, because our assumptions (which become our certainties) shut down conversations and kill hope of unity. So, while I make no apologies for the fact that I do like this President, rest assured I do reserve the right to critique him as is my patriotic duty and right.

However, even when posting about political issues, my first concern has been and always will be the Church. The Church has too often defined herself in political terms and policies that have taken us far from our first love. It is not necessarily the particular political stances that harm us – it is a way of thinking (dualism) that has kept us from a truly Christian worldview. For example, many of my tribe assume that the conservative, even the Republican worldview is the “Christian” one. They are no more so than any other, ‘cept Jesus. There is no one political, religious or philosophical ideology that is big enough to hold the wild gospel! And remember that they are my tribe – I come from conservative roots so I understand the thinking – which is why I address them more often. But I feel strongly that it is our way of thinking that has changed our self-understanding and how we show up in the world.

I do feel strongly that my tribe in particular has lost her identity, her true Face, at least in part, by merging with the older modernistic as well as conservative worldviews. Neither of those are fully bad (see first paragraph) but to meld our minds with something else does compromise who we are as “peculiar people” in Christ. The way of thinking of the modernistic era has subtly intertwined absolutism with Christian thought (hence all the polarizing and dualism) and conservatism has become almost synonymous with what it means to be an evangelical in America. (Interesting to note that in other western countries, those who have conservative theological beliefs about Jesus tend to have pretty liberal views politically. Interesting!) Anyhoo, I think all of this has come into play to reduce our focus to mere issues and ideologies, and to lower our gaze onto an obsession with others’ sin and the subsequent “handling” of them, versus imagining radically different Kingdom love and grace. Isn’t it hugely ironic that that is also something we dislike about Islam?

The issues here really reflect a difference in worldviews and the ability to speak into worldviews. Bush was like a final hurrah of the modernist times and thinking which was reflected in his language and thinking as well as that of McCain (whose language and perspective were also from a generation ago despite his moderate leanings…I think that’s why he lost and Obama won. Ok, and there was the Palin issue, LOL.) Worse, Bush seemed unteachable (stay the course...). His perspective says that to apologize or back down shows weakness. As Christians, this shouldn’t be a shameful thing. And there has been a HUGE, undeniable and unstoppable shift in worldview over the last half century or so. We are living in a postmodern, postcolonial, post-Christian world. The modernist worldview is one that no longer speaks to these times. But Jesus always does.

My friend pointed out that Bush had used some of the same language as Obama when it came to acknowledging what is good about Islam, and that we need to build bridges. The problem is, few over there truly believed Bush, nor did he succeed in truly rallying his followers here to that perspective. Deep suspicion remains. I believe it is because despite the choice of words, he spoke from that same old posture of us vs. them, we are right and you are wrong, etc. No amount of rhetoric can truly hide core beliefs. Likewise, the perspective that conservative Christians have bought into is that others must come to see our point of view. We are right and they are wrong. Truly listening to the “other” is tainted by this posture. Obama, with a more postmodern perspective is able to move a bit beyond the either/or and beyond the binaries and that is a huge need and boon in these days. Whether you like him or not, that is why his words carry more weight when he says such things. And, Obama is a true child of this era. He is both black and white, he’s Christian yet has Muslim family, and he was raised in both the East and the West.

I do not think Obama is perfect (he’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy) and I expect there will be great disappointments. Nor do I think postmodernism is necessarily a better perspective to have– at best postmodernism doesn’t even know what postmodernism is yet! At worst it is a “great dark dissolvingness” that does obliterate some boundaries that perhaps should not be obliterated and loses some certainties that perhaps should not be lost. But the cracks in modernistic thought that created rigid absolutes and thus the boundaries that exclude and create harm are being exposed and that is good for us. It is opportunity for us to try to tease apart what is cultural influence (in how we think) and what is really Jesus.

When it comes down to it, people are afraid. People worry that Islam is not truly as peaceful as it claims to be and that justifies a posture of exclusion. But as Christians I think we need to look at our own logs in our eyes first. Are we as peaceful as we claim to be? Many of the proponents of the Iraq war were Evangelical Christians. Jesus became a God of war. What do we expect others to see in us? Again, I believe we need to tease apart our political and religious biases from Jesus our Living Orthodoxy to begin to show up in a truly “Christian” (little Christ) way in this world. And is our sin really much different? We also seek to eliminate the “other” through more palatable means (shutting out voices, dualistic either/or perspectives, etc.) We are all far more like terrorists than like Christ if we understand our own view of the heart of sin. But, rather than argue about whether Islam peaceful or not, can we focus on the more important question that is, how do we love them as Christ? How do any of us love who we see as the “enemy” or those we don’t trust? We really need that conversation. (Note: Islam was heavily influenced by Aristotle, and Greek dualism continues to impact Christian thought in the West to this day! We are more alike than different.)

There is also the criticism about Obama’s handling (really, the lack of handling) issues regarding women’s rights in the speech, given the atrocities against women that are rampant around the world. Now I am all about women’s rights. The criticism is that he addressed the problem that Muslim women have been denied the right to wear Hijab in some countries and did not address any of the horrors. Even so, I believe this was a bridge building thing. To speak to them where they have felt slighted is hopefully an attempt to “hear” their hearts. It is about making space for them to be. This wasn’t the time to address the bigger issues. That must be a whole speech (and hopefully multiple speeches) in itself. Many religions do oppress women but those who do the oppressing are not going to listen to enemies telling them what to do. But will they listen to friends? Maybe. Or perhaps, as a Baptist friend once told me, resolving these issues won’t happen till “we blow them off the face of the earth”. I am hoping for a better solution.

I hope the conversation about women carries into the Western church, too. :-) It’s that log thing again. Our own theological positions regarding women have helped to feed this stuff. In Africa, the fact that domestic abuse is accepted and male promiscuity (a husband may sleep around if he wishes) and thus the proliferation of AIDS are a huge problems that are fed by this misogyny. I have seen this up close. And what so often comes bundled with the conservative Christian perspective (which was taught by Western missionaries there) is a “secondary” view about women….there’s another whole conversation to be had, I know! But to be a “peculiar people” in this world we must live as radically as Christ did, embracing the enemy (as He did on the cross) and embracing each other in the fullness of who we are – full voice, full freedom in gifting, full participation as both male and female. We can have a major impact on gender-based injustices by being true to Christ and letting go of our hierarchies.

Jesus opened his arms in an embrace on the cross – for those who were murderous towards him and hateful towards their fellow man. One insightful friend remarked that the horizontal piece of the Cross seems to pull east and west together. Could it be that we just can’t bear the thought that following Jesus means we are asked to do the same? What will it mean to love “the other” (any other) in that way? There are surely many conversations to be had there. These are difficult days. I don’t know any easy answers but with the loving, creative hearts I have encountered in so many Christ followers, there are lots of possibilities.

It was for this world that Christ had died; the more evil you saw and heard about you, the greater glory lay around the death. It was too easy to die for what was good or beautiful, for home or children or a civilization—it needed a God to die for the half-hearted and the corrupt.
~ Graham Greene,
The Power and the Glory

rublevtrinitysm

Rublev's Trinity icon

God for us, we call You Father,

God along side us, we call You Jesus,
God within us, we call You Holy Spirit.

You are the Eternal Mystery
that enables, enfolds, and enlivens all things,
even us,
and even me.

Every name falls short of your
Goodness and Greatness.

We can only see who You are in what is.
We ask for such perfect seeing.

As it was in the beginning, is now,
and ever shall be.

Amen.

A spiritual director said once that the role of a pastor is to “sit with the Trinity and let everything else flow from there”. To sit with our God who exists as relationship will inform who we are, as well as who we are corporately. Cool things to ponder today.

Jurgen Moltmann says:
The trinitarian unity of the Son and the Father through the Spirit is a model for the relationships of men and women in the Spirit of Christ. The unity of the Church resides neither in the monarchy of God, nor in God as a supreme, divine essence, but in the trinitarian communion of God. However, this trinitarian community is so wide and so open that the Church and the whole world can “live” within it. The prayer of Jesus that “you may be one in us” is a prayer that is answered. Whether we know it or not we not only believe in the triune God, but also “live” in the triune God.

This reciprocal, sometimes called mystical, “living in God” also belongs to the trinitarian life: “those who live in love, live in God and God in them” (1 John 4:6). “We in God and God in us” is not meant merely as some sort of fleeting, mystical rapture, but is a daily relaxing quiet and intimate “living.”

The prayer above is by Fr. Richard Rohr

(And thanks to Mike Morrell who published this first today.)

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